Yes. Miss Dee has a subject for this blog,thanks to LizardoMD (http://lizardomd.com/2013/09/02/letter-to-my-exes), a guy whose blog she follows. An Open Letter to my Ex’s- Miss Dee’s version. This is especially dedicated to those who wish to know about her love life.
This blog is not to spite these guys she has dated, but rather to inform them of the kind of impact their relationship has made on her.These are not also crushes she has had over the years (from adolescence till now, Miss Dee’s crushes are numbering up to 500), but real relationships or near relationships, that she has been involved in.Some lasted for a few weeks, others, up to a month and the longest was almost a year. They all followed a particular trend (maybe she should add a graph to represent the trend). And that trend was, the relationship being fun and interesting in the beginning and later getting boring. She was always the one who seemed to call off the relationships too. Miss Dee has always been the heart breaker, sort of. Not a good feat though, but something to blog about today.
As LizardoMD used colours to represent the different people he had dated over the years, she is going to use some of her favorite foods (which are mostly junk, by the way) to represent the guys. So there!
Dear Chicken Wings,
Since you were the first guy that I nearly dated, you get to become my chicken wings (one of my favorites). You were kind, lovely and had such a wonderful family, very large for that matter. Speaking about your family, your little sister thought I was a threat, since I was snatching all the attention from you.
You loved plantain chips very much and I remember how I used to get you some on my visit (since there was just one of it). We all nursed dreams of entering the university at that time. I don’t really know what the problem was, but all of a sudden, I lost interest in the relationship before I even accepted your proposal. In fact, I was thinking of accepting your proposal, but before I realized, our attempted relationship had taken a downward curve. Diminished returns had set in on us even before the proposal acceptance. Our conversations became drab, especially the compulsory ‘free night’ calls. I simply lost interest. I had to bow out. But thank you very much for accepting the ‘break up’ without a fight. I wouldn’t have known how to have handled it, since that was my first real attempted relationship. I believe your sister now has you to herself. No more competition from me.
Dear Potato Chips,
Well, you came into my life in such dramatic style. We exchanged email addresses and you acted caring in the beginning. So, I became interested. It was fun with you-the outings, the gifts, the frequent phone calls etc. You taught me so many things- some good and others- things I wouldn’t even attempt doing now- but it was learning experiences for me. Somewhere along the line, I realized you were just making me do stuff that I didn’t want to do so I had to let go. Our conversations centered on a particular theme- your dad. It became boring. Too boring for me. And you were too demanding. Demanding too much of my time and of me. I am not blaming you entirely for everything that went wrong. As I said, it was fun being with you and such a growing up stage. I saw you recently, though. Looking all grown and suffering from some kind of amnesia. It seemed you had even forgotten all about me. You even struggled to remember my name and where you knew me from. It was quite amazing, because our relationship lasted over 6 months. So you had no excuse to forget me like that. I guess that was how unimportant I was to you. It was sad, because I still do remember you and the kind of fun we used to have together.
Dear Chocolate Milk Shake,
Did I ever tell you that our relationship began in the same dramatic way like Potato Chips’? I guess I didn’t. But I am telling you now. Both of you came into my life like you were offering me some help on a particular issue. I didn’t even get that particular thing solved, since you both became more interested in the person with the issue than the issue you were supposed to have helped me solve. Anyway, I have also developed some kind of memory deficit with how it was, being with you. I remember a few things though- your height, your family’s preference for a particular tribe, which unfortunately wasn’t mine and your crazy philosophies too. I also remember you liked books. Yes, now I remember. Our first date was at the bookstore. I went with you to get a book. You also loved ‘free night’ calls. No, yours was more of ‘free dawn’ calls, after you had finished studying. Well, casting my mind back, I don’t blame you for loving the free dawn calls, because you were a student then. But our relationship ended in the most dramatic way like the way it began. Something that I know you have regretted so much. I haven’t regretted, maybe not much. In fact, I am cool with it. I really would not have known how it would have been, since your family despised my tribe. It was great knowing you. I am still thinking of ways for you to make it up to me. Maybe, I should make you get me either my Nissan Versa 2012 model or the Samsung Galaxy Tablet I have always wanted. I will send you the pro-forma invoice of the above items. Please remember, I hold no grudge against you, but if you are thinking of making it up to me, I am in need of those items I have mentioned. Looking earnestly to hearing from you.
Dear Chocolate Cookies,
I didn’t know I would be sitting behind my laptop writing something about you in this fashion. My breakup with you was the messiest, since the whole world knew about us. We were an item back then. Our chemistry was based on something that we shared and that particular thing was always the subject matter of our conversations. Though, I wanted our relationship to be on the quiet side, you went public with it. No wonder all eyes were resting on us- wondering where our relationship was going to end. No wonder I could not take the pressure. No wonder I reconsidered the whole relationship with you. No wonder I concluded it was not love, but something else. I concluded that what I felt for you was more of admiration than love. I admired your passion for excellence, your academic achievements and how you had gone through life the way you had done. Too bad it ended that way. But, I still remember you though. It was not all fun with you like the others. You were also demanding, even more than Potato Chips. If I am supposed to present an award to the guy who gave me the most pressure, I would without a second thought, hand over that award to you. Yes, that was how much you pressurized me. Our relationship was more of a full time course for me, since it was difficult understanding you and your ways. I think I matured most during our relationship and my break-up with you.
Your Super Ex,