I sat behind her in my room. The more I shifted to the other side of the bed, the closer she drew towards me. I could smell the pomade in her hair and the perfume in her dress. Yes, we have vowed to stay off any form of intimacy including cuddling, kissing ,sex, etc. I only brought her to my room to show her a movie on my laptop and as we watched, she kept snuggling closer and closer to my side. I was feeling uncomfortable, I kept my cool though.
As the smell of her perfume filled my nostrils, it became overbearing. Let’s just say I lost my cool. I drew closer to her now. After all, this is the lady I will be getting married to in future, so what is the big deal if we did something beautiful and different tonight? My blood began to boil as I felt her body close to mine. I started whispering sweet nothings into her ears. I didn’t know what she wanted, but I knew what I wanted. I raised my hand and touched her left breast, she starting whimpering. I could see the fear and confusion in her eyes. Have I misread her emotions? My hand still laid on her breast and she made no attempt to take it off. I pulled a little bit harder at it. The room was silent except for the movie which was still showing on the laptop and the pounding of our hearts.
I have always imagined how our first time was going to be during our honeymoon. Of course, I have assured her I was never going to attempt anything ‘crazy’. We have both vowed to remain chaste. That was months or even years ago. But tonight is different. She was the one who kept snuggling closer. I was the one who kept pulling away. She was the one who started everything, so what am I supposed to do, now that she has succeeded in turning me on. I could feel heat emanating from my body.
I jumped off the bed and pulled her closer to me. She felt warm and God, didn’t she smell good? I held her tight in my arms and shut my eyes, wanting this moment to last. I drew away and tried to read the sentiments in her eyes, since she has suddenly gone dumb. I have been playing this scene several times in my head even before today, but in those scenes, I expected her to pull away. The look on her face spelt fear, but I knew her body wanted something more from me. I pulled her closer again into my arms for a tighter cuddle. It was as if we were being held together by some force, it felt good, I must admit.
I was disorientated too. What is my next move going to be? Should I just leave her to go or I should listen to what was going on ‘down there.’ I held her in my right arm and with my left hand, I tore her dress to see what she has been hiding all these years, and my God, what a sight? She was so beautiful.